secret confessions of a strawberry killer
Two weekends ago I gave up on coercing my friends to go to the Renn Faire and decided to go alone before they packed up.
A few days later I found myself talking to Lily about my experiences and what a great time I had at the Faire, hoping that she might feel guilty about not going and trying to convince her that there IS a great time to be had.
What I wanted her to think was something along the lines of, "Hey! It sounds like fun. He must be right. Gosh darn, why is he always right. I would have enjoyed myself. Perhaps I should go next year. Man, I regret not going this year. I am going to kick myself".
What I did not want her to do was ask, "So what did you do after the Faire?".
Because that would have led to a very tense moment.
Let me explain. The food at the Faire was poor and despite my attempts to eat the steak and mushroom pie, I was constantly reminded how much it smelt like dog food and had to throw it away. So, while I left the Faire happy, I left the Faire hungry.
Which leads me to the next point.
A place like Casa de Fruta is bound to have a great deal of fresh fruits, perhaps even out of season fruits, perhaps, Strawberries.
So I bought a teeny tiny basket of innocent sweet looking Strawberries. A tiny basket of temptation and sin for which I must now confess.
But, its a good thing Lily did not ask.
A few days later I found myself talking to Lily about my experiences and what a great time I had at the Faire, hoping that she might feel guilty about not going and trying to convince her that there IS a great time to be had.
What I wanted her to think was something along the lines of, "Hey! It sounds like fun. He must be right. Gosh darn, why is he always right. I would have enjoyed myself. Perhaps I should go next year. Man, I regret not going this year. I am going to kick myself".
What I did not want her to do was ask, "So what did you do after the Faire?".
Because that would have led to a very tense moment.
Let me explain. The food at the Faire was poor and despite my attempts to eat the steak and mushroom pie, I was constantly reminded how much it smelt like dog food and had to throw it away. So, while I left the Faire happy, I left the Faire hungry.
Which leads me to the next point.
A place like Casa de Fruta is bound to have a great deal of fresh fruits, perhaps even out of season fruits, perhaps, Strawberries.
So I bought a teeny tiny basket of innocent sweet looking Strawberries. A tiny basket of temptation and sin for which I must now confess.
Dear Strawberry,
I am sorry Strawberry. I said I'd only eat you and spare your brothers and sisters, but I did not. After I ate you, I reneged on my promise. I am sure you know by now as you and your other lush brethens line up at Heaven's Gate -- for surely strawberries as luscious as you must go to heaven.
I must also confess, I did not take pride in what I did. I am ashamed, deeply ashamed. It was not an act of a sane person. I shed a tear with every bite. I swore each bite would be my last but alas, I broke my word with each juicy bite.
I don't know what happened. When I came to my senses, the deed was done. I glanced around hoping against hope that one of you might have been spared my savage lust but not one of you survived. I found myself looking into the rear view mirror and I noticed the tinge of red around my lips. My badge of shame. I glanced down and saw my fingers and shirt covered with a red goeey mess. What have I done? What have I done?
Sorry Strawberry, you were too delicious to resist.
Tierrie
But, its a good thing Lily did not ask.
1 Comments:
I think you need to find yourself a girlfriend...do you get what I am trying to imply here, Mr. getting-psychodelic-over-pretty-strawberries?
But oh wait, you want to keep playing WoW.
Alright, then keep confessing to strawberries, raspberries, and soon boysenberries too.
Come to the Halloween party with us!! There will also be people in costumes, kinda like Renn Faire.
By lily (again), at 9:24 PM
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