o frabjous day! callooh! callay
You know how sometimes when you wake up and you just know how your day is going to turn out? Like that one time you were out drinking till 3am at your friend's place during a worknight because you were so sick of it all and wasn't sure if going to work next day was worth it because your girlfriend left you and before she did she threw all your shit out and burnt it? Or that one time when you had to wake up 78 times during the night because you ate one of those fancy ethic food thing for dinner because you wanted to be "cultured"?
No? Neither do I.
But today was special. I wake up at 8am to my stupid alarm clock blaring obnoxiously. If I was a fucking alarm clock I would be so obnoxious too. Its impossible to fuck up. You tell time and once a day you make a loud noise. Its like a baby, who can't tell time, but makes a loud noise all the time. So baby is like a broken clock. That poops. And eats. And one day will grow up to elope with the wierd punk next door with a lipring and eyeliner. Okay so a clock isn't much like a baby at all.
After I woke up I crawled to my home office chair like I always do and promptly fall asleep, like I always do (try to follow here, none of this is unusual yet), and then (here it comes!), I hear a bird cawing (yes assholes, that was The Big Twist In The Story).
This bird didn't go "caw caw" or "chirp chirp". It went "chuck chuck". I opened a bleary eye and tried to find out if I was slowly growing insane or if the fucking bird was trying to tell a Chuck Norris joke. At this point I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep but prayed hard that I was asleep because birds should not be telling Chuck Norris jokes. No one should.
So for a brief moment, I panicked because the world was topsy turvy and I thought I was in some fantastic world where animals talked. So I tried to listen closely to the bird. And after 5 seconds, I fell asleep again. Because birds are that goddamn boring.
No? Neither do I.
But today was special. I wake up at 8am to my stupid alarm clock blaring obnoxiously. If I was a fucking alarm clock I would be so obnoxious too. Its impossible to fuck up. You tell time and once a day you make a loud noise. Its like a baby, who can't tell time, but makes a loud noise all the time. So baby is like a broken clock. That poops. And eats. And one day will grow up to elope with the wierd punk next door with a lipring and eyeliner. Okay so a clock isn't much like a baby at all.
After I woke up I crawled to my home office chair like I always do and promptly fall asleep, like I always do (try to follow here, none of this is unusual yet), and then (here it comes!), I hear a bird cawing (yes assholes, that was The Big Twist In The Story).
This bird didn't go "caw caw" or "chirp chirp". It went "chuck chuck". I opened a bleary eye and tried to find out if I was slowly growing insane or if the fucking bird was trying to tell a Chuck Norris joke. At this point I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep but prayed hard that I was asleep because birds should not be telling Chuck Norris jokes. No one should.
So for a brief moment, I panicked because the world was topsy turvy and I thought I was in some fantastic world where animals talked. So I tried to listen closely to the bird. And after 5 seconds, I fell asleep again. Because birds are that goddamn boring.
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