I'm so disturbing

I found this disturbing entry in a long forgotten diary dated 25 Nov 2005

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

THINGS I'M GLAD I'M NOT

1. Obese (yet)
2. Stupid (yet)
3. Dying of AIDS / cancer / knife stab
4. Married with children (yet)
5. Drug addict
6. Politician
7. [Ex-boss's name]
8. A used tampon

THINGS I WANT TO BE

1. Skinny
2. Marathon runner
3. Rich* powerful Engineer or writer
4. Cool
5. Calm
6. Collected


*Rich with a footnote that said "enough to take guitar lessons, travel, have a HUGE LIBRARY, and buy a MINI COOPER"

Meeting Notes

Today I was thinking that if I had to work in Singapore, I would work at the Integrated Resort as one of those people wandering around the amusement park in a large Rabbit suit. But because of my rigorous engineering background, I will be able to engineer a high tech suit that is self air-conditioning, which would make it feasible to wear on ALL occasions regardless of ambient temperature. This will demolish the final obstacle to the Rabbit suit taking off as the latest fashion craze to take the world by storm.

However, I will not commercialize my Rabbit suit. Instead, I will wear it and run away to the forest where all the rabbits will worship me as king.

Sekian.

Our Very Own Space Tourist

Our Space Tourist is back!!! And he brought us a souvenir!!!

First Malaysian Space Tourist - Dr Whatshisface

I'm so proud of our handsome space tourist because he has helped us show the WORLD that you should not trifle with Malaysia because we are such an awesome country that we can send SPACE TOURISTS to OUTER SPACE in Russian rockets. All I can say is, Don't Pray Pray with Us.

I hope he remembered to get me my keychain that says, "Space The Final Frontier"

Facebook sucks

So I got a linky from someone inviting me to join the hottest internet fad in town... FACEBOOK which is exactly like friendster with the added ability to poke and throw fish at random people. Facebook, like the rest of the internet, is owned by Google which means that it is a very liberal, tree hugging and hippy on the outside, but evil underneath, unlike say Microsoft which is just thoroughly evil.

Anyway there I was, merrily logging on, and trying to better my life and widen my social circle when suddenly facebook decided it needed to make a comment on the state of my social life!!!!

Super sien! Even the computer tells me I am sad and have no life!

So after having a good cry about it in the office toilet, I decided to post it on my blog.

Damn bo liao this facebook, nothing better to do than to make disparaging comments about very innocent people early in the morning.

a Welcome and a Goodbye

a Welcome: Freakazoid Colony

It is the beginnings of a freakazoid colony!!! I suspect Freak's Baby will be much better looking, mature, intelligent and well-behaved compared to his mom... even at birth.

Lucky for him Aunty EH will be around to bring some sort of normalacy into his life. Unfortunately being on a different continent will slightly hinder my ability to be Fully Involved , so I will therefore have to keep in constant contact with him throught Email, Skype and possibly MSN.

I already have a training programme in mind for him:

Year 1: Emailing, Skype and MSN to communicate with Cool Aunty EH
Year 2: The Life and Times of The BeeGees - Music, Lyrics, Dance Moves and Costumes
Year 3: Structural Analysis - How to Build a Life Size Model of the Eiffel Tower with Lego
Year 4: Electric Guitar - How to be Santana in 3 Weeks!

etc...

Yay! So Exciting!

a Goodbye: Sarah, you were always a Good Girl

Sarah kind of has to leave us, even though she probably doesn't want to. Not because she's not ready, or hasn't achieved her life goals or anything like that, no. If anything is holding her back, it is the thought that Shawn will be getting all sorts of love and attention that (in her opinion) is rightfully hers because she is after all, Top Dog.

Sarah is the kind of dog that is perpetually, and rightfully, accused of being needy. She does not grasp the fundamental Female Commandment (immortalized by B. Jones) that says 'Thou shalt be an Ice Queen'. But this stems from true self-confidence, and an unshakable belief that no one, absolutely no one, is immune to her brand of scruffy doggy cuteness.

And so she goes to everyone to give and receive the sort of unconditional love that can only come from dogs and be given to dogs, knowing she would never be denied. On that score, this otherwise thoroughly dumb dog, is right.

For a long time, she got the better of age, and managed to do many things younger dogs would never achieve. She survived many years of vicious attacks and the foul company of an evil cat named Neem. She climbed up three storeys to poop in Betta's room and then snuck back down. She destroyed a strong wooden sliding door during a particularly excitable session when she was isolated from people she really wanted to say hi to... Stuff like that.

Her hair was falling out and her eyesight failing. You could tell she was old from the outside.Inside, she never aged a day.

I will miss you, with all my heart.

Reasons Why I Am Sibeh Sien

1. Beliligerent Kaki
I want to join the Genting Trailblazer, but my usual kaki is being very belligerent and a bit of a wuss due to concerns about drowning.

'-_-

So now I'm sibeh sien because I have no kaki.

2. Work Sucks
My work is so boring. In fact, I have spent the whole morning researching Brangelina, Chris Noth and downloading Chinese mp3s.

This is however not strictly because I have nothing to do, but because if I have to amend that &*&*@#^$) presentation one more time, I'm going start stabbing people with my sharp but deadly mechanical pencil. It would be a bloodbath, and everyone would either bleed to death or die from lead poisoning. So I'm procrastinating.

Also my intern told me, " I don't know how you can do this. I'm here for 4 weeks and my brain is already numb. No offense!". But now he is gone and I cannot take revenge for saying those painful but true words by giving him more mind numbing crap to do.

So now I'm sibeh sien because my work is so damn boring

3. Betta Has Left The Country
Betta is in Sydney for two months because she is hiding from our local Internal Revenue Department for not filing her taxes during her last two income generating years. Actually this is not true.

She is in Sydney because of this.

Actually this is not true either.

She is in Sydney because she got a fellowship thing for her achievement in art. And she will be there for two months. Which means that I've lost my rubbish kaki who hangs out with me and puts up with my Paleolitic humour and bad dress sense.

So now I'm sibeh sien because my rubbish kaki has left the country and will not be coming back for two months.

rant rant rant

i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job. i hate my job.
whoo.. that was therapeutic

sekian terima kasih