Today

I can't believe we didn't declare a holiday today. I mean it's the King's Coronation! How unpatriotic! After all the things he has done for us... like... hmmm... Anyway, half the country is off rah-rahing to this glorious glorious celebration of what could possible be the Most Underrated Monarchy in the whole wide world, and here we are, stuck in the office.

Cis bedebah.

I'm going to make a little armband out of post it notes (yellow colour) and wear it all day in defiance of... the non-holiday.

You know, if I were given a holiday, I would not be like all the undeserving rakyat who will not be properly honouring this glorious day by doing things like waking up late, going to watch a movie, or taking a really long holiday on a beautiful beach in some foreign country. o_O

Seriously... KANASAI.

Anyway ok I got to go back to work. My tray has mysteriously managed to grow overnight despite a flurry of clearing and filing activities yesterday. I don't understand how this happens. I suspect that in the night, little elves troop into the office and start creating little to-do lists and sticking it into my tray so that when I come in in the morning, suddenly I am far far behind in everything. Either that or its just that I never really get around to doing stuff that I should.

The world is so unfair.

Freaky Alice thinks she's funny

Freaky Alice thinks she's so funny... hardy har har... Wait till I show up at her wedding all drunk and slurring, and cursing in Hokkien and we'll see whether her sense of humour will still be intact.

HAH!

Anyway, the plan today is to be PRODUCTIVE. Came in to work a wee bit late due to grumpy grandmother syndrome, but am I here! Peppy! And ready to go! Also I have a List. Which is a very powerful tool that totally encourages productiveness. It's got 7 items on it, 2 of them are emails I have to send, one is a phone call I have to make, one says "Clear Desk" which is starting to look like war zone, another one says "Plan Holidays" :)

Am gonna get crackin!

RoOoOOar!!!

Third post. And counting

Today is the THIRD POST of the day for me, largely because the Spawn of Satan (i.e. CFA) is back to haunt me down and taunt me and drown me in guilt for all the non-studying that I have been painstakingly doing thus far.

Generally it just boils down to an issue of Concentration (of which I have none). To illustrate:

Things I Have Thought About Today While Attempting to Concentrate on CFA

1. Apple iPhone, and how cool it would be to own one, but thought was abruptly cut short by rude realization that balance in my bank account would only fund h 0.26 of an iPhone (at published rates) which is sort of an obstacle to actually purchasing one, or at least a working version. Was tempted to purchase from eBay the iPhone cutout, which is a cardboard folding model of the iPhone that you can buy, print and fold into an iPhone, which I thought was actually very cool.

Time wasted = 43 minutes (checking out iPhone review on Cnet Asia, downloading iPhone advertisement, googling iPhone updates, contemplating bidding for cardboard iPhone)

2. Kurt Vonnegut. Felt sad that he wasn't around anymore, so mucked around the internet a bit. Was pleased to find a 10 min interview with him on audible.com, downloaded it and listened a couple of times. Got teary when I heard him talk about Slaughterhouse Five, and Dresden...

Time wasted = 27 minutes

3. New swimming suit. Thought about how I really need a new swimming suit because it is no longer acceptable to share swimming suit with mom given age and level of maturity attained by turning 25 last year. Also mom's swimming suit looks like its been trampled on by a large herd of disgruntled elephants, and the bra pad is badly mis shappened from years of use, making me look like I have stuffed cauliflowers down my chest (not attractive). Also mom has bigger boobs than self, making swimsuit very loose in chest region, which is bad because it is; a) too airy and; b) bad for my ego.

Time wasted = 10 minutes

4. Chan Kong Choy. Have been adamant that he was a sleazy bastard, and ranked very low on the shaggability index. However, having met him briefly, am now forced to reconsider. Thin scary moustache is still completely unnecessary and disgusting, but otherwise, overall personality exudes certain, what can only be described as 'Man-ness' and therefore may after all be shaggable. Searched online a bit to find pictures of him from different angles, but pictures largely make him look very fat and gross so gave up.

Time wasted = 4.5 minutes

5. Blogging about how I couldn't concentrate and was wasting time doing all sorts of other rubbish than productive work.

Time wasted = 28 minutes


TOTAL TIME WASTED = Alot

Please shoot me.

Thanks

Draft v1.0

Draft for Freaky Alice's Wedding:

大家情你们不要紧张。虽然我的中文说的好难听，但是你们应该给给 Freaky Alice 一点点脸，不准跑。跑了就没有东西给你们吃。

我想说，我认识 Freaky Alice, 认识了好几年。我觉得我们是很好的朋友。那么我很了解她。 如果你要我用一句话来describe 她， 我回说, "Freaky Alice, 她的人特别无聊”。为什么我回这样说呢？应为她的人真的特别无聊。我已经很久没和她在一起了应为我们都住在很远很远的地方，但是我还看得出 Freaky Alice的无聊-ness 其实没变到。

"I can't stop thinking about her"

MissL forwarded me an email from a friend reporting that her man friend was officially head over heels in love with her. He quoted him as saying

"I can stop thinking about her"

Which I think is possibly the most heartwrenchingly romantic thing one person can ever say about another.

I can't stop thinking about her...

I can't stop thinking about her

I can't stop THINKING about her

o_O

cute... am rooting for him already, despite having never met the man

All I want to do

All I really want to do right now is to go to my apartment.

Fix the goddamned fridge.

Throw open the doors.

Sprawl on the couch.

Sip on a Extra Giant Large Caramel Frappucino.

And watch the monkay's make monkay lurve in the trees outside.

(I'm tired, my coat smells funny, I have cramps, I don't want to be here!)

Damn bad... cannot tahan

A picture from the venerable New York Times (web edition)

For those who can't see properly the caption says: Martina Navratilova in a 2001 ad for Subaru, known to some as "Lesbaru"

Damn bad.... But to their credit this was an article about how some cars are associated with gay people...

But still... o_O quite funny

Dear Mr. Vonnegut

I've never met you, although there was a time in my life when I could think about nothing else but making a pilgrimage to your apartment in New York, just to tell you how... you know.

So it goes.

In loving memory

I Heart Maybulk

Got the shock of my life today when I found out that Maybulk when up by 40cents!! This means that I am RM400 richer! I heart Malaysian Bulk Carriers Berhad. Them and their sexy looking tankers.... makes me break out in cold sweat.

You can alam my sentosa anytime baby....

Can't say the same for StupidCo though, which is just languishing in the pit of the Shanghai Stock Exchange Gone Wild period. It's just so damn lazy. It's a lazy stock! Nobody should buy lazy stocks! StupidCo. STUPID.

But I heart Maybulk.

:) (happy)

A-lately

My Latest List of Excuses For Not Blogging

1. Grandma's Surgery
Grandma went through surgery, which actually went really well. Had a long philosophical discussion with her post-surgery as she periodically woke up to insist that I switch of the lights, while I explained to her that it was not the lights, it was the Sun, and one cannot switch off the Sun no matter how annoying you find its presence to be.

After a while, I started singing to entertain myself, so she pretended to sleep to make me shut up. Went through Sarah McLachlan's Angel, Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Jacky Cheung's Zhu Fu and Qing Shu and Faye's Yuan Yi before remaining relatives started trooping in, much to grandma's relief.

Am glad she's alright.

2. Extreme confusion re: work
Work has been confusing lately, resulting in me not really knowing what I'm doing. I've realized that the past few weeks have been a nonstop buzz of activities, but mostly with me sitting in on little meetings looking all Bambi eyed and praying fervently that nobody asks me what RF stands for (I know now, it means, RADIO FREQUENCY ok?).

For some reason, I am also plagued by toilet attacks everytime I sit in one of these meetings. Inconvenient doesn't begin to describe.

3. CFA is back with a vengeance
The exams are June 3 (I know because I just checked) and this time, I am not allowed to just color in "C" (you know? the ultimate exam commandment? when in doubt, shade "C") because it is... get this... SUBJECTIVE. My boss likes to say, when Substance is Suspect, Fall Back on Form, so I have decided to start practicing cursive script writing and memorizing big financial words like, Black Scholes Theorem and Depreciation. I will then pepper my answers with intimidating words, to stun the examiner into speechlessness and guide their subconciousnesses to passing me. Also I must learn how to spell subconciousnesses before I can control the examiner's subconciousnesses

Yes. Good Plan.