By my keen senses...
The thing about having your house broken into (while your mom was still inside and tied up and other fun things of that nature) is that it makes you think. Highlights of my unstoppable brain rant:
1. My dogs are completely useless
As I wait here on my couch for my parents to return from their almost certainly futile trip to the friendly, but highly useless, police station, my dogs are draping themselves on the furniture and getting into their normal routine of taking turns to terrorize each other.
On one hand, it is a relief to them unhurt and their usual goofy furry little selfs. On the other hand, I cannot help but try to recreate the scene of the robbery in my head.
Did they greet the robbers with their boundless happiness and sheer joy that they usually offer to any human being?
Did they try to make the robbers play fetch?
Did they try to follow the robbers home, as they are apt to with some people, giving said people the impression that they live under circumstances of extreme duress?
In conclusion, my dogs are useless. I will now get a german shepard who will kill robbers on sight and eat them over a few days as we hang their corpses from our front gate. This will teach both of these useless balls of fur a lesson, as they will no longer have the run of the house and will need to bow to the new Dog King (i.e. the German Shepard, who is yet to be named, or even adopted)
2. My room has been ransacked, but does not look completely different from what it usually does
My room has been ransacked. The went straight for my drawers under the misguided impression that I am one of those people who actually deign to hide jewellery in my socks. Also they raided the wrong room, which had almost certainly nothing of interest, unless the robbers happen to be voracious readers. (Which I'm guessing they are not, as they kindly left behind my very valuable leather bound deluxe sandman limited edition copy)
Also it does not look very different from usual. This is very disturbing to me as it leads to the conclusion that:
Condition of my room under normal living conditions = Condition of my room after being ransacked by robbers
This says alot about my state of tidiness (or lack thereof). I have always suspected that my room would be categorized as slightly slobby - this fear is now confirmed.
3. I'm not going to vote for Barisan Nasional
While I'm pretty sure that the robbers are not card-carrying members of any of the component parties, I cannot help but blame this current situation on the government. We live in a fairly good neighbourhood. We have security alarms. We pay our bills. We pay our taxes. We don't break laws - except traffic ones, because even the police don't really think their proper proper laws. We even pay the residential street patrolling fee. (Which by the way... where does that money go?)
So how come my house got robbed while my mother was in it?
What kind of country allows strange men to enter houses and tie people up and faff them about?
This kind apparently.
I hope the police get their nice new quarters and their new telecommunications system. This is because they've only got another two fucking years to enjoy it before we vote the next government in to kicking their overweight sedentary asses. So they should really enjoy it while it lasts.
1. My dogs are completely useless
As I wait here on my couch for my parents to return from their almost certainly futile trip to the friendly, but highly useless, police station, my dogs are draping themselves on the furniture and getting into their normal routine of taking turns to terrorize each other.
On one hand, it is a relief to them unhurt and their usual goofy furry little selfs. On the other hand, I cannot help but try to recreate the scene of the robbery in my head.
Did they greet the robbers with their boundless happiness and sheer joy that they usually offer to any human being?
Did they try to make the robbers play fetch?
Did they try to follow the robbers home, as they are apt to with some people, giving said people the impression that they live under circumstances of extreme duress?
In conclusion, my dogs are useless. I will now get a german shepard who will kill robbers on sight and eat them over a few days as we hang their corpses from our front gate. This will teach both of these useless balls of fur a lesson, as they will no longer have the run of the house and will need to bow to the new Dog King (i.e. the German Shepard, who is yet to be named, or even adopted)
2. My room has been ransacked, but does not look completely different from what it usually does
My room has been ransacked. The went straight for my drawers under the misguided impression that I am one of those people who actually deign to hide jewellery in my socks. Also they raided the wrong room, which had almost certainly nothing of interest, unless the robbers happen to be voracious readers. (Which I'm guessing they are not, as they kindly left behind my very valuable leather bound deluxe sandman limited edition copy)
Also it does not look very different from usual. This is very disturbing to me as it leads to the conclusion that:
Condition of my room under normal living conditions = Condition of my room after being ransacked by robbers
This says alot about my state of tidiness (or lack thereof). I have always suspected that my room would be categorized as slightly slobby - this fear is now confirmed.
3. I'm not going to vote for Barisan Nasional
While I'm pretty sure that the robbers are not card-carrying members of any of the component parties, I cannot help but blame this current situation on the government. We live in a fairly good neighbourhood. We have security alarms. We pay our bills. We pay our taxes. We don't break laws - except traffic ones, because even the police don't really think their proper proper laws. We even pay the residential street patrolling fee. (Which by the way... where does that money go?)
So how come my house got robbed while my mother was in it?
What kind of country allows strange men to enter houses and tie people up and faff them about?
This kind apparently.
I hope the police get their nice new quarters and their new telecommunications system. This is because they've only got another two fucking years to enjoy it before we vote the next government in to kicking their overweight sedentary asses. So they should really enjoy it while it lasts.
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