Declining standards

At the risk of sounding like a very jaded ancient person lamenting about the 'good-old-days', I just want to ask (nobody in particular) whatever happened to The Resume?

I mean:

One. "Excellent 'writen' and spoken English" - wahlau.
Two. "Gained experience thru ..." - damn super gengchau wahlau. u tink resume is lk sms izzit?
Three. (My all time favourite, found in the 'Relevant Job Experience' section) ...



CLOWN...

not even ENTERTAINER, but just CLOWN

of the three, I'm rooting for the clown.