A Wedding, A Funeral and A Near Death Experience
Part Une. Wedding
It was only after I heard the phrase, " You mean you HAVEN'T PREPARED YET?" the seventh time that I figured all was not smoothy woothy hairy fairy. I figured, emcee speech... pfffffft.... This was me. Public Speaker Extraordinaire - with an amazing resume of astounding oratory successes:
(1) Melafazkan Ikrar Sekolah dan Rukunegara - Standard 6, Age 12;
(2) Melafazkan Rukunegara dan Menyanyi Lagu Negaraku- Form 4, Age 16;
(3) Master's Thesis Defence to a massive audience of four people (actually 3 professors, plus one who just came in for the free Krispy Kreme donuts)
I was going to go for Inspirational-And-Heartbreakingly-Touching but completely off the cuff. I wanted to tap into the inner charismatic public speaking persona that is hidden oh so deep within myself and so that I can unleash my potential and tap intofuture career opportunities holding seminars on how to EMPOWER yourself to make ONE BILLION dollars before you exhale.
Anyway, I'm keeping my day job for now.
Part Deux. The Funeral
When I got home, my dad told me my granduncle had passed away. He had been sick for a while now, with cancer- the same vicious little turd of an illness that took my grandfather away.
Digressing.
I was just sitting there, minding my own business, trying not to feel too awkward in a family of strangers, when my grandfather sat down in front of me. Of course it wasn't really my grandfather because he's dead and six feet under, but then he was because... There He Was. It was the most confusing blur in my life:
0:01 Gong gong! (happy)
0:02 wait...
0:03 he's dead (confused)
0:04 but There He Is (happy)
0:05 I wonder if he knows about ahma (guilty)
0:06 ...
0:07 it's not him...
0:08 ...
It wasn't him of course. It was third granduncle. The last man standing. It wasn't him.
i wish it had been.
you know?
Part Tres. The Near Death Experience
After the funeral, I had a near death experience where I was viciously ambushed by a stomach virus. I spent a day getting to intimately know my toilet bowl from all angles.
For three days, I drank nothing but fruit juice and ate no solid food.
BUT I STILL WEIGH THE SAME.
life is.
unfair.
It was only after I heard the phrase, " You mean you HAVEN'T PREPARED YET?" the seventh time that I figured all was not smoothy woothy hairy fairy. I figured, emcee speech... pfffffft.... This was me. Public Speaker Extraordinaire - with an amazing resume of astounding oratory successes:
(1) Melafazkan Ikrar Sekolah dan Rukunegara - Standard 6, Age 12;
(2) Melafazkan Rukunegara dan Menyanyi Lagu Negaraku- Form 4, Age 16;
(3) Master's Thesis Defence to a massive audience of four people (actually 3 professors, plus one who just came in for the free Krispy Kreme donuts)
I was going to go for Inspirational-And-Heartbreakingly-Touching but completely off the cuff. I wanted to tap into the inner charismatic public speaking persona that is hidden oh so deep within myself and so that I can unleash my potential and tap intofuture career opportunities holding seminars on how to EMPOWER yourself to make ONE BILLION dollars before you exhale.
Anyway, I'm keeping my day job for now.
Part Deux. The Funeral
When I got home, my dad told me my granduncle had passed away. He had been sick for a while now, with cancer- the same vicious little turd of an illness that took my grandfather away.
Digressing.
I was just sitting there, minding my own business, trying not to feel too awkward in a family of strangers, when my grandfather sat down in front of me. Of course it wasn't really my grandfather because he's dead and six feet under, but then he was because... There He Was. It was the most confusing blur in my life:
0:01 Gong gong! (happy)
0:02 wait...
0:03 he's dead (confused)
0:04 but There He Is (happy)
0:05 I wonder if he knows about ahma (guilty)
0:06 ...
0:07 it's not him...
0:08 ...
It wasn't him of course. It was third granduncle. The last man standing. It wasn't him.
i wish it had been.
you know?
Part Tres. The Near Death Experience
After the funeral, I had a near death experience where I was viciously ambushed by a stomach virus. I spent a day getting to intimately know my toilet bowl from all angles.
For three days, I drank nothing but fruit juice and ate no solid food.
BUT I STILL WEIGH THE SAME.
life is.
unfair.
2 Comments:
well, you did well for the wedding. i'm glad you weren't 1/2 drunk when you were the mc....although i'm sure you wish you could very well be....but no regret on my part for picking you as the mc.
as much as you would love to see the loved ones who had passed, i'm still glad you didn't. the whole "i see dead people" thing will put you to another level of freakyness, which i'm sure you can do without.
by the way, you looked good for the wedding too, both day and night. wish i was able to dress the way you did, simple yet to the point.
as much as i was puzzled by your evening wear, Chen applaud your traditional Malay wear, which i had vaguely remember you gleaming to me about.....sorry ya....
but your efforts were noted regardless.
**clapping**
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