Rant: My Trip to Jakarta
KLIA, The World's Best Airport (My Big Fat Ass)
Went to jakarta just the other day via our Wonderful Kuala Lumpur International Airport where there is ONE (yes, only SATU, ONE, UNO, YI GE) exceedingly overpriced coffeeshop in the entire Terminal 1 for you to have a drink while you wait for your ONE HOUR delayed flight (an airline which shall remained unnamed, but I will refer to as 'MAS')
So there I was in the Crappiest CoffeeShop in the World (Harrods at Terminal 1, KLIA) where the waiters actually HIDE BEHIND THE COLUMNS so that they don't have to take your orders until you get up from your table and ambush them while they are trying to stay very very very quiet in hopes that you will just go away.
So I hunted the disgruntled waiter down who was so reluctant that he threw the menu on my table in a huff and glared at me. So after staring at it for about 20 minutes, I asked for water, just to piss him off. And so he said STILL or SPARKLING? And I was like what the (toot)? So I looked at him and said Whatever. Surprise Me. Go Crazy. Be Creative!
And this is what I got.
So I had to take a picture of it.
And then after that I had to resist going to the toilet for the longest time because it felt like such a waste.
So crap.
MAS - Our Cabin Crew is Pleasant, But Everything Else Sucks.
And then on the way back from Jakarta, I got hungry. I usually try to refrain from eating on planes, but its been a while, and I was ready to gnaw this nice looking chinese uncle sitting next to me, so I told myself, "Ok. How bad can it be?"
So the steward in a very ill-fitting suit the colour of bread mold came up. His name was PARTHIBAN. This name is important for reasons I will unveil later. Anyway, he went, "Chicken? Or Beef?" But when he said 'beef' he had a guilty look on his face, so I said "Chicken".
And so I uncovered my dish and yelled, " PARTHIBAN! Someone vomitted on my plate!"
Actually I didn't, but I really wanted to.
But I ate the chicken in the end -_-
EPILOGUE: WHY PARTHIBAN IS IMPORTANT
The reason PARTHIBAN is important is that it's been a few days since I got back from jakarta, but I still keep thinking about PARTHIBAN. I thought about how if I were to marry a German, and move to Germany, and had a son, I would then name him PARTHIBAN (all capital letters). This is because, in German, BAHN means BUS, and PARTHI mean PARTY. So if he ever had to pick up chicks, he would have this great set up line which is:
How would you like to join the PARTHIBAN.
I would make such a great parent.
Went to jakarta just the other day via our Wonderful Kuala Lumpur International Airport where there is ONE (yes, only SATU, ONE, UNO, YI GE) exceedingly overpriced coffeeshop in the entire Terminal 1 for you to have a drink while you wait for your ONE HOUR delayed flight (an airline which shall remained unnamed, but I will refer to as 'MAS')
So there I was in the Crappiest CoffeeShop in the World (Harrods at Terminal 1, KLIA) where the waiters actually HIDE BEHIND THE COLUMNS so that they don't have to take your orders until you get up from your table and ambush them while they are trying to stay very very very quiet in hopes that you will just go away.
So I hunted the disgruntled waiter down who was so reluctant that he threw the menu on my table in a huff and glared at me. So after staring at it for about 20 minutes, I asked for water, just to piss him off. And so he said STILL or SPARKLING? And I was like what the (toot)? So I looked at him and said Whatever. Surprise Me. Go Crazy. Be Creative!
And this is what I got.
THE MOST EXPENSIVE WATER IN THE WORLD. RM 20 (US$ 6) for water with BUBBLES innit.
So I had to take a picture of it.
And then after that I had to resist going to the toilet for the longest time because it felt like such a waste.
So crap.
MAS - Our Cabin Crew is Pleasant, But Everything Else Sucks.
And then on the way back from Jakarta, I got hungry. I usually try to refrain from eating on planes, but its been a while, and I was ready to gnaw this nice looking chinese uncle sitting next to me, so I told myself, "Ok. How bad can it be?"
So the steward in a very ill-fitting suit the colour of bread mold came up. His name was PARTHIBAN. This name is important for reasons I will unveil later. Anyway, he went, "Chicken? Or Beef?" But when he said 'beef' he had a guilty look on his face, so I said "Chicken".
And so I uncovered my dish and yelled, " PARTHIBAN! Someone vomitted on my plate!"
Actually I didn't, but I really wanted to.
But I ate the chicken in the end -_-
EPILOGUE: WHY PARTHIBAN IS IMPORTANT
The reason PARTHIBAN is important is that it's been a few days since I got back from jakarta, but I still keep thinking about PARTHIBAN. I thought about how if I were to marry a German, and move to Germany, and had a son, I would then name him PARTHIBAN (all capital letters). This is because, in German, BAHN means BUS, and PARTHI mean PARTY. So if he ever had to pick up chicks, he would have this great set up line which is:
How would you like to join the PARTHIBAN.
I would make such a great parent.
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