Homecoming: In 5 Parts
Part One: The Call
Dad: We've arrived.
Me: Ok
Dad: We lost a bag
Me: (without hesitation) Was my stuff in it??? (panic)
Dad: So typical
Me: What?
Dad: No they weren't. All your stuff is with us.
Me: Sweet. Ok. Bai!
(click)
Part Two: Family Does the Stress Test
So my dad went for this fancy schmancy "Leadership Course" which gets cool brownie points because it is held at Harvard, Berkeley, Stanford and UCLA (I'm overdosing from all the Ivy League name dropping). But anyway, he was suitably impressed and came back with a stress tester kit, which is something to clip to your ear, breathe deeply and think happy thoughts for about five minutes, and the computer tells you how good you are at calming your heart rate and just being generally the Dalai Llama (props to him) on a scale of 1 to a 100
Dad also told me that mom had already taken the test, scoring in the low 20s, idiot brother scored in the 40s and he himself had scored in the 60s, but COUSIN SISTER had scored a whopping 97!!!! So the competitive streak in me roused itself and I took the test, and scored a mega 98!!!! Which made ME... Optimus Prime.
Anyway, my disgruntled mother decided to take it again, claiming that the last time around my dad irritated her (by telling her to calm down) while she was taking it, and it was therefore corrupted data (or in statistics they say, an outlier). So fine, we let her take it. We clip it to her ear, play nice soothing music and dad and I wander off to the kitchen to get some (more) food. We come back, and stare at the computer. To which my mom opens her eyes and says:
"Ei, can get jee-lo one ah?"
To which I collapsed into a giggling wreck on the floor. My mom scored a ZERO!!!
'-_-
Okay lah.. not so funny when I tell it here, but its damn funny in real life ok!!!!
* Note: My dad being kiasu and took the test again and scored a 100, now HE is Optimus Prime. I write this in very small font, in hopes that nobody will read it, and I will then remain Optimus Prime for eternity
Part Three: Aftermath
Today, quite pleased with my brand new stain-free, hole-free, fray-free shirt, I decided to go to work with my hair down which would complete the sophisticated urban young working woman look. During the course of my journey to work, my hair decided to throw a wild rock party, so I strolled into office looking like a disheveled cavewoman. Tried to tame in it in the toilet with some water, but now I look like a disgruntled cat who has just unwillingly had a bath.
damn.
Dad: We've arrived.
Me: Ok
Dad: We lost a bag
Me: (without hesitation) Was my stuff in it??? (panic)
Dad: So typical
Me: What?
Dad: No they weren't. All your stuff is with us.
Me: Sweet. Ok. Bai!
(click)
Part Two: Family Does the Stress Test
So my dad went for this fancy schmancy "Leadership Course" which gets cool brownie points because it is held at Harvard, Berkeley, Stanford and UCLA (I'm overdosing from all the Ivy League name dropping). But anyway, he was suitably impressed and came back with a stress tester kit, which is something to clip to your ear, breathe deeply and think happy thoughts for about five minutes, and the computer tells you how good you are at calming your heart rate and just being generally the Dalai Llama (props to him) on a scale of 1 to a 100
Dad also told me that mom had already taken the test, scoring in the low 20s, idiot brother scored in the 40s and he himself had scored in the 60s, but COUSIN SISTER had scored a whopping 97!!!! So the competitive streak in me roused itself and I took the test, and scored a mega 98!!!! Which made ME... Optimus Prime.
Anyway, my disgruntled mother decided to take it again, claiming that the last time around my dad irritated her (by telling her to calm down) while she was taking it, and it was therefore corrupted data (or in statistics they say, an outlier). So fine, we let her take it. We clip it to her ear, play nice soothing music and dad and I wander off to the kitchen to get some (more) food. We come back, and stare at the computer. To which my mom opens her eyes and says:
"Ei, can get jee-lo one ah?"
To which I collapsed into a giggling wreck on the floor. My mom scored a ZERO!!!
'-_-
Okay lah.. not so funny when I tell it here, but its damn funny in real life ok!!!!
* Note: My dad being kiasu and took the test again and scored a 100, now HE is Optimus Prime. I write this in very small font, in hopes that nobody will read it, and I will then remain Optimus Prime for eternity
Part Three: Aftermath
Today, quite pleased with my brand new stain-free, hole-free, fray-free shirt, I decided to go to work with my hair down which would complete the sophisticated urban young working woman look. During the course of my journey to work, my hair decided to throw a wild rock party, so I strolled into office looking like a disheveled cavewoman. Tried to tame in it in the toilet with some water, but now I look like a disgruntled cat who has just unwillingly had a bath.
damn.
2 Comments:
Comment in three parts.
Part One: You are consorting with the devil
Mother thinks your "Business with the Devil" book is about the demons and some such. I had to hide the book quickly. You got me to trouble.
Part Two: Nintendo DS Lite
I bought it, I hardly played it. Now you can hardly play it too.
Part Three: Coupling
I put it in, mother wanted to know why I was giving you a DVD about sex. So I took it out.
anyway u're missing 2 parts out of 5. I used to think only engineers can't count.
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