A post in three parts
Part I. LAST NIGHT
Last night may have been a mistake. I haven't really decided yet, but it will probably bite me in the ass later on as I start snoring in front of my boss as he demands an explanation for my "analysis" and "calculations", for which I have none (No explanation that is, the analysis is there, it's just, how do you say, like a really good work of Fiction, which may not be appropriate for a serious Cost Benefit Analysis which is going to be presented to real practicing economist type people. Then again he may be astounded by my ability to conjure up Magic Numbers, and tweak Excel spreadsheets, and give me a Very Large Raise and a Car... or not.)
Coming home at 3am on a Working Day is so wrong, on so many levels starting right at how you can hardly keep your eyes open. It's hard enough to focus my ADD self on a normal goodish day. But Mambo was good, I only did the Robot dance once, so I consider myself well behaved.
Oh my god, I forgot to confiscate the pictures from Elise. Shite.
Part II. CHINESE NEW YEAR AFTER(DURING?)MATH
My pants decided to greet the fourth day of CNY by ripping at the zipper. I put them back together with a nifty safety pin and pray that people do not notice the glint of silver against my my beautiful brown GAP pants. I hope the safety pin does not dislodge itself and poke me, because that would be a Very Disastrous Thing.
Yesterday I had an 8 course lunch and then promptly flounced over to Poopie's house and demanded to be fed. For which I was given a warm awesome plate of Hokkien Mee (mmmm) by her fantastic Feeding Machine Dad. After Mambo, we went back to her place, and I nimbly stepped across the snoring bodies of her family sprawled across her living room to free the pot Bak Gua from the middle of the bodies. I felt like Harry Potter in the one where Colin dies, and he gets this Cup which is actually not a cup, but something like an evil Star Trek Transporter that takes him to Voldemort, anyway there was a large and dangerous maze involved, which was kind of like Poopie's living room. I liberated the Bak Gua and ate it. I am the Liberating Machine.
PART III. UNINVITED
Freaky Alice has not sent me an engagement party invitation card, which makes me a Sad Liberating Machine. I am posting this here because I know she reads this blog when she's actually supposed to be designing culverts for the State of California where she is misusing State Property for her own entertainment.
To get back at her, I'm not sending her my Wild Party of The Century invitation card. I'm not actually throwing a Wild Party of The Century, but I could have, and if I did I would not invite her.
I have decided that if she does not invite me to her wedding, I will gatecrash in an alien suit and pretend to try to take Freaky Alice home to Plant Bong where she is actually from. This will surprise the guests and provide hours of endless entertainment and many lawsuits.
END
Last night may have been a mistake. I haven't really decided yet, but it will probably bite me in the ass later on as I start snoring in front of my boss as he demands an explanation for my "analysis" and "calculations", for which I have none (No explanation that is, the analysis is there, it's just, how do you say, like a really good work of Fiction, which may not be appropriate for a serious Cost Benefit Analysis which is going to be presented to real practicing economist type people. Then again he may be astounded by my ability to conjure up Magic Numbers, and tweak Excel spreadsheets, and give me a Very Large Raise and a Car... or not.)
Coming home at 3am on a Working Day is so wrong, on so many levels starting right at how you can hardly keep your eyes open. It's hard enough to focus my ADD self on a normal goodish day. But Mambo was good, I only did the Robot dance once, so I consider myself well behaved.
Oh my god, I forgot to confiscate the pictures from Elise. Shite.
Part II. CHINESE NEW YEAR AFTER(DURING?)MATH
My pants decided to greet the fourth day of CNY by ripping at the zipper. I put them back together with a nifty safety pin and pray that people do not notice the glint of silver against my my beautiful brown GAP pants. I hope the safety pin does not dislodge itself and poke me, because that would be a Very Disastrous Thing.
Yesterday I had an 8 course lunch and then promptly flounced over to Poopie's house and demanded to be fed. For which I was given a warm awesome plate of Hokkien Mee (mmmm) by her fantastic Feeding Machine Dad. After Mambo, we went back to her place, and I nimbly stepped across the snoring bodies of her family sprawled across her living room to free the pot Bak Gua from the middle of the bodies. I felt like Harry Potter in the one where Colin dies, and he gets this Cup which is actually not a cup, but something like an evil Star Trek Transporter that takes him to Voldemort, anyway there was a large and dangerous maze involved, which was kind of like Poopie's living room. I liberated the Bak Gua and ate it. I am the Liberating Machine.
PART III. UNINVITED
Freaky Alice has not sent me an engagement party invitation card, which makes me a Sad Liberating Machine. I am posting this here because I know she reads this blog when she's actually supposed to be designing culverts for the State of California where she is misusing State Property for her own entertainment.
To get back at her, I'm not sending her my Wild Party of The Century invitation card. I'm not actually throwing a Wild Party of The Century, but I could have, and if I did I would not invite her.
I have decided that if she does not invite me to her wedding, I will gatecrash in an alien suit and pretend to try to take Freaky Alice home to Plant Bong where she is actually from. This will surprise the guests and provide hours of endless entertainment and many lawsuits.
END
2 Comments:
Colin didn't die, he was only Petrified by the giant snake. I think you're refering Cedric Diggory who died in the Tri Wizard Tournament when he and Harry touched the cup together and got killed by Voldemort.
As far as the engagement invitation.....it's an engagement, not the wedding, knowing how busy you are, being the most famous blogger and all, of course I'll save the important invitation for the wedding. You can practice your alien entertainment performance until then.
Oh someone is showing off her in-depth knowledge of Hairy Potter. Who's the geek huh? huh?
As far as the engagement, yes I am busy, VERY BUSY. Like my social life and my work life are so JAM PACKED with so so so many IMPORTANT things... like... anyway.
Whatever.
Post a Comment
<< Home