Famous Blogger Remains Humble and Shy
Kuala Lumpur, 11 Jan 2007 - Rave reviews from loyal reader(s) of the young and edgy blog, "attack of the pansies" have pleaded the author on the cusp of explosive fame to quit her boring job to become a full time author. Says loyal (completely unrelated) but very wise and knowledgeable reader Tierrie, "... you should be an author. Quit your stupid job and write a book..." Despite not having many readers (three), the blog has managed to survive five (5) years of anonymity, only to now burst into limelight with the world discovering this previously untapped diamond in the rough that is the world of blogging.
"I love your blog" says one stranger named 'Lily' who wandered onto the blog randomly, proving the naysayers, who claim that the Attack of The Pansies only appeals to immediate relatives and friends who have been coerced into reading the blog, so very wrong. With Lily, the number of readers who read the blog now reached the Holy Grail of Blog Readership Statistics of three (3) total readers, after hovering at about two (2) readers (including the author) for many years. This represents a 50% increase in total readership, in just one year, or a compounded annual growth rate of 10.6%. This means that next year, there will be 3.3 readers, the year after that 3.63 readers and so forth. We expect the 0.3 reader to be a midget or an unnaturally short person.
"It is like a breath of fresh air, " said George, the very dorky statue of a dinosaur in Chennai Museum, "Blogs today, they just want to talk about boring crap like Badawi and the NEP, or the latest LG Chocolate handphone, or how singaporean girls are better than malaysian ones. I mean, how am I suppose to relate to that?? This blog is different." When further asked whether his opinion had to do with the fact that he was prominently featured in many posts, George turned back into an inanimate object and refused to answer anymore questions.
Piqued by the rave reviews of its many fans, we decided to track down the elusive genius behind this website to get the low-down-and-dirty-details behind the Attack of The Pansies. We managed to corner the author at her cubicle in her office, 'working'. After ensuring her that we were not from the Human Resources department regarding her liberal interpretation of 'annual leave entitlement', we finally settled down for a short chat.
Us: So, you are the author of the underground alternative but famous blog, "Attack of the Pansies?"
Famous Blogger: Yes. But I only blog after office hours. But there is something wrong with my computer, so everytime, the timestamp says like 3pm, actually its 3am.
Us: (awkward silence)
Famous Blogger: So you THINK I'm blogging at work, but I'm not. (stares beadily at interviewer)
Us: Anyway, where do you get your inspiration from?
Famous Blogger: Are you from Corporate Affairs?
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Are you from Security?
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Are you from Building Services? Because that thing was in the toilet before I went in.
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Well... I didn't do it.
Us: Do what?
Famous Blogger: (runs away)
---- Burhnama
"I love your blog" says one stranger named 'Lily' who wandered onto the blog randomly, proving the naysayers, who claim that the Attack of The Pansies only appeals to immediate relatives and friends who have been coerced into reading the blog, so very wrong. With Lily, the number of readers who read the blog now reached the Holy Grail of Blog Readership Statistics of three (3) total readers, after hovering at about two (2) readers (including the author) for many years. This represents a 50% increase in total readership, in just one year, or a compounded annual growth rate of 10.6%. This means that next year, there will be 3.3 readers, the year after that 3.63 readers and so forth. We expect the 0.3 reader to be a midget or an unnaturally short person.
"It is like a breath of fresh air, " said George, the very dorky statue of a dinosaur in Chennai Museum, "Blogs today, they just want to talk about boring crap like Badawi and the NEP, or the latest LG Chocolate handphone, or how singaporean girls are better than malaysian ones. I mean, how am I suppose to relate to that?? This blog is different." When further asked whether his opinion had to do with the fact that he was prominently featured in many posts, George turned back into an inanimate object and refused to answer anymore questions.
Piqued by the rave reviews of its many fans, we decided to track down the elusive genius behind this website to get the low-down-and-dirty-details behind the Attack of The Pansies. We managed to corner the author at her cubicle in her office, 'working'. After ensuring her that we were not from the Human Resources department regarding her liberal interpretation of 'annual leave entitlement', we finally settled down for a short chat.
Us: So, you are the author of the underground alternative but famous blog, "Attack of the Pansies?"
Famous Blogger: Yes. But I only blog after office hours. But there is something wrong with my computer, so everytime, the timestamp says like 3pm, actually its 3am.
Us: (awkward silence)
Famous Blogger: So you THINK I'm blogging at work, but I'm not. (stares beadily at interviewer)
Us: Anyway, where do you get your inspiration from?
Famous Blogger: Are you from Corporate Affairs?
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Are you from Security?
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Are you from Building Services? Because that thing was in the toilet before I went in.
Us: No.
Famous Blogger: Well... I didn't do it.
Us: Do what?
Famous Blogger: (runs away)
---- Burhnama
2 Comments:
I see my name in this blog twice, not once, but twice! and one of them is in quotation marks! I feel light headed. Whao...
I bestow my attentions generously.
Unlike Tierrie. Stingy ass.
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