CHOOSING.

My best friend left town today (I know you're thinking, "That's So completely immature, only people in primary schools and pigtails have best friends," but that's because you were adopted and nobody loves you.) She was here on a visit with her boyfriend, who also left, but in a different direction (south) as opposed to her (north) and then they were parted.

Gosh. That was painful. For me, I mean. I couldn't help but feel a sense of infinite sadness and injustice to see love parting just because silly little things like space and time got in the way. But there was no other way, she explained. And I understood, of course. But still pain, and loss is universal, and it can never be tempered down, even by logic or practicality. I hurt to see them hurting. There is a saying:

"Berat mata dijinjing, berat lagi bahu dipikul"

And it means, No matter how heavy it is to eyes, the burden on the shoulders of the bearer is heavier. Of course, the true meaning is loss in translation, that is the failing of languages.

This made me think. Can humanity be reduced to a single multiple choice question? i.e.

Circle the correct answer:
(a) Fame and Fortune.
(b) Happiness.
(c) I live in a country torn by war/poverty/starvation/religious persecution, so I'm too preoccupied dodging missiles/scavenging through recycling bins/trying very hard not to think of food/praying, to think about things like fame and fortune or happiness while you people in your air-conditioned rooms with cans of beer on the table, philosophize and rant on about choosing the right path and debating the crassness of materialism. Thank you.

mmm...

I choose life. I choose sneaking out to watch cheesy matinee movies on a working day. I choose staying home on weekends as opposed to trooping back to the office to "work". I choose homesickness. I choose public transportation. I choose no to MTV, Friends and McDonalds (but yes to Sex in the City). I choose Microsoft (because I cannot figure out the Mac). I choose not to be a slave to my handphone. I choose no to Louis Vuitton, Chanel and Gucci. I choose an emphatic no! to the relentless pursuit of publishing the next pointless research paper just so I can add a line to my resume. I choose papaya, but not honeydew. I choose neurotic families. I choose happiness.

But as a result of these choices, I am a geek of infinite proportions. A happy geek though, because I chose to be so.

AH. the rants.

Exam on Tuesday. Not yet study. I choose no exams. But nobody seems to be listening. God. If you're listening. This exam thing? Not very good for karmic health. Please smite the exam-setting infidels, who in doing so have started of a chain reaction of stress and bad karma. The multiplier effect you see. Exam stress. I get crabby. Crabbiness induces rashes. Rashes make me look like a lobster. Lobster walks into hall, lobster scares roommates. Roommates stressed. See what I mean by the karmic multiplier effect. Not good.

Please let me pass. And don't let them take away my scholarship.

Thanks.